WWE Royal Rumble 2023 Match Ratings and Commentary
Cody Rhodes (Credit: WWE)
Here’s where we landed with this year’s Rumble from San Antonio. Curious how we rank matches? We’ve got a rubric for that.
WWE Royal Rumble ‘23- 1/28/2023
Cody Rhodes won the men’s Royal Rumble: ★★★★
Bray Wyatt def. LA Knight: ★
Bianca Belair def. Alexa Bliss to retain the WWE Raw Women’s Championship: ★
Rhea Ripley won the women’s Royal Rumble: ★★
Roman Reigns def. Kevin Owens to retain the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship: ★★★
Sami turns on Roman (Credit: WWE)
Show Highlight—
Cody won the Rumble. Give Hunter credit in booking Cody to win as the number 30 entrant, not running from the analogy that Cody Rhodes: Batista:: Sami Zayn: Daniel Brian. A smart litmus test to see if the audience would accept the finish and not revolt. As much consternation there is about who ought to be heading WrestleMania—Cody or Sami—it’s merely the reality that WWE finally has compelling creative and satisfying paths to explore on the road to Mania for the first time in years.
What Worked—
The lighting. Those spotlights set behind the ring created a dramatic flair to the Rumble and made it feel like a huge spectacle. There’s major faults in how WWE shoots its product, but in terms of how it’s lit, they are flawless ahead of the entire industry.
The stage/entrance. I love this less-is-more approach and not having a stage that blocks half the stadium like the Ruthless Aggression-era sets would. It allows WWE to sell as many seats as possible for a PLE up the last minute.
A long entrance is a bit brutal for Roman’s entrance but for the Rumbles, there’s inherent energy and excitement and a little old school enjoyment on watching the guys and girls run to the ring; it allows the in-ring action to react based on the competitor and create a few seconds of added drama.
Gunther’s performance. What an amazing run. Gunther was giving the all-time longevity record and was able to (hopefully) cement himself as not only one of the best workers in the company, but as top-tier guy for Cody down the line. His elimination was extended and had great false finishes that made the match feel epic (about that—weirdly referencing the RR ’04 ending finish with Benoit/Big Show, which, hey, at least they’re stealing it back). With Gunter’s physicality and shape, he’s effortlessly able to suspend disbelief that he could have won, all the while making Cody feel like he earned the victory after taking an amazing shit-kicking. The seeds were planted for a three way at Mania with Drew and Sheamus—or maybe Brock (!).
The commentary. Sure it was hit and miss but at least they were really loose and seemed to enjoy the hell out of each other’s company. I’ll take the guys having fun together and making porn site jokes than having to regurgitate WWE Newspeak.
Rhea Ripley won the woman’s Rumble. Dreadful women’s Rumble as always, but Rhea won with an incredible finishing sequence. While arguable that her going the distance was undercut by Gunther setting the longevity record earlier in the show, she put on a helluva performance.
Sami attacks Roman. There was no surprise here, it was logical that he’d finally snap and turn on Roman and the pop was absolutely massive. Perfect pacing and execution of an all-time classic moment in WWE’s recent history. Nothing more to say than this was excellent professional wrestling and long-form storytelling.
What Didn’t Work—
Traditionally terrible Rumble spots. Year after year, the same stupid sleeping spots, the same pattern of people waking up right before the clock comes down to then be fresh to eat offense temporarily before going on another nap. I’m on an island with this I suppose, as it never seems to deter the excitement from even hardcore, hardcore fans
Traditionally terrible women’s Rumble. The depth of the roster is as thin as is the number of plausible believable winners. Running up to the 11th hour of the show, something like under 10 entrants were announced, and with the “surprise” factor of “legends” already run-up in other years when they were just as depleted talent-wise, there was little drama going into the match. It doesn’t help having the men’s Rumble be an all-timer proceeding it. WWE’s in a weird position. Two Rumbles each year are overkill, and by necessity one is going to overshadow the other. Do they run the women’s Rumble the SmackDown before the PLE itself or at the Elimination Chamber/whatever the February show is so it can be better highlighted? Or does that just harm the already shaky foundation the women’s division is on? What’s more equitable?
Shitty WWE television production. Yes, Triple H is better than Vince. But you sure wouldn’t know who was running the show with the same old, fucking frustrating camera work with obnoxious cuts, zooms, and raping of the 180-degree rule. I’ll never be able to understand how there’s not been a concentrated social media campaign that protests WWE’s cuts and zooms on a large scale. Is what’s left of WWE’s appointment viewership going to eat whatever gruel is fed to them?
Show Cringe—
Bray Wyatt/Uncle Howdy. It feels icky just writing this…but…maybe…Vince was on the right side of history? The White Rabbit teasers were inspired and they made Bray Wyatt the character interesting again. Finally, being Vince-free, the hope was there would be a delineation if it was Vince or Bray’s fault that made Wyatt insufferable. Well…now we know! An all-time idiotic turd that ought to waft and linger with Bray’s other green apple splatters as the Hell in a Cell and whatever the fuck the Randy Orton/Alexa Bliss thing was.
Logan Paul and Ricochet (Credit: WWE)
Follow us on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/WrestleElitists
