WWE Royal Rumble 1991 Match Ratings and Commentary
LOD eliminates The Undertaker (Credit: WWE)
Let’s look back at another old school WWE Royal Rumble. The 1991 edition was one of the best WWE PPVs of its era. Curious how we rank matches? We’ve got a rubric for that.
WWE Royal Rumble ‘91- 1/19/1991
The Rockers def. Orient Express: ★★★★
The Big Bossman def. The Barbarian: ★★
Sgt. Slaughter def. The Ultimate Warrior to win the WWE World Championship: ★★
The Mountie def. Koko B. Ware: ★
Ted DiBiase and Virgil def. Dusty and Dustin Rhodes: ★★
Hulk Hogan won the Royal Rumble: ★★★
The Rockers and Orient Express (Credit: WWE)
Show Highlight—
Savage screws Warrior. Forget Montreal, this was the best screwjob in WWE history. The Macho King hounded the Ultimate Warrior for months for a title shot and the Warrior had no interest in wrestling him, driving Savage even crazier. Unable to obtain the number one contender nod from Warrior, he got it from Sgt. Slaughter and thus conspired to screw Warrior in an elaborate scheme.
When Savage first attacked Warrior from the blindside behind the interview stage, it felt like you saw something completely anarchic even on the Randy Savage scale. When Warrior mounted a comeback against Slaughter, Sherri and Savage distracted Warrior again, with Savage just absolutely teeing off on Warrior with an unprotected shot with the scepter. Funny how the Macho King’s scepter always looked like a shitty plastic prop all the other times it was on TV but this one was ornate, spewing out little diamonds for extra impact. Great shit that made it believable that Warrior would lose and that the heat for a return match should be off Slaughter and all on Savage for their program at WrestleMania VII.
What Worked—
The poster. Name a better pro wrestling show poster in the history of the industry. Inspired by the movie The Warriors, this design was used again by WWE and is seen in knock-off drawings to this day.
The intro. I never want to see Vince McMahon on WWE TV ever again, but before his scandal last year (well, and also before his vocal chords degenerated into Tom Waits gurgling lava) part of me always wanted him to run down the card one more time like he used to back in the old days. Vince in his most over-the-top Vince voice gave extra panache to every entrant, like the were all equally viable contenders.
Rockers vs. Orient Express. Even now it stands the test of time and feels like your prototypical indie tag match. Hell Joey Marella had the exact same control over the proceedings as Rick Knox does today! Way ahead of its time and had innovative double-team moves even by both team’s standards with a hot, tumbling finish.
Bossman. Slimmed-down Bossman could go.
Virgil’s face turn. This was building since 1987. After years of brutal treatment, Virgil took all the punishment and belittling he could handle and waffled the shit out of DiBiase to one of the all-time biggest pops in WWE history. DiBiase played his role to absolute perfection here. Interesting trivia note, this was basically Dusty’s last match of his run as an active wrestler. No pokadodth, sadly.
Hogan wins the Rumble. With the exception of Flair in 1992 this is one of the Rumble winners where nobody fantasy books an alternative winner. Hogan needed to win here, what with the finish to the WWE Title match, the direction of the main event of Mania, and where the country was at at the time. Great extended sequence with Earthquake as the final entrant to end their awesome feud.
What Didn’t Work—
Piper on commentary. For as good as Piper could be on promos he was absolutely abrasive as a commentator and co-host. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say though that to this day, his line about guys having, “hair on their teeth” still comes to mind anytime I think of tough guys wanting to fight.
Hard camera. Odd production crew error here, but the close-up hard cam seemed to be on a tripod that wasn’t level, giving the ring a disorienting feel. Still a shitload better than Kevin Dunn’s zooms and cuts.
Sherri seduces Warrior. Yes, technically it worked one on level as a thread throughout the show, but Warrior trying to act like he is getting turned on always creeped me the hell out as a kid. Just the weirdest reaction, especially when he flashes those Adam Carolla Chiclets he calls his teeth. The other noteworthy part of this segment was when Sherri got on her knees to beg Warrior for the title shot. With Mean Gene’s sell of it and the guys in front hopping up and down, it’s like the mouthbreathing crowd actually thought the Queen would give the Ullllllltimate hummer right there on stage.
Hogan’s an idiot. The name Saddam Hussein had to be said in print and on the news every single day for at least seven months by that point and ol’ Terry had another one of his embarrassing boo boos on videotape.
Show Cringe—
Gulf War exploitation. I don’t think there’s ever been a better example of booking yourself into a corner. You could have had Warrior beat Slaughter and end the whole Iraqi sympathizer angle right then and there, especially knowing that the war was literally counting down to the day of the Rumble and there was no way Bush wasn’t declaring war. They tried to have it both ways with the excuses that there’s always been jingoistic exploits in wrestling and having the announcers try to patriot-it up as much as they could, but people were going to die and Vince should have known better. But that’s Vince.
Earthquake and Hulk Hogan (Credit: WWE)
Follow us on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/WrestleElitists
