Detroit SummerSlam!!!
But will all of the Wrestling Elitists be able to make it?
WrestleMania 23 at Ford Field (credit-WWE)
Wrestling or football?
This is what my wife asked me mid-anecdote as my attention went elsewhere to my phone. If a text message thread is causing me to raise my hands in elation and hoot obnoxiously it typically is centered around professional wrestling or Ohio State football. It has to be, at best, exceptionally embarrassing for my wife as this little one-act played out in public at a restaurant in Downtown Plymouth, MI.
“Oh shit—SummerSlam is gonna be at Ford Field after all. Sweet, will get suite tickets.”
“With Sean and Alex?”
“Yep.”
“Saturday or Sunday?”
“Hold on…lemme see…what do we have going on on August 5th?”
Then I head the three words no man wants to hear:
Our wedding anniversary.
FUCK!
How could that be?!? Every major wrestling show there’s a fucking birthday or a fucking wedding or a fucking baptism. Then I didn’t help my cause by whining this double whammy:
“Our anniversary is the 5th?!? I thought it was in September?!”
Like that made a lick of sense. This oversight is all the more stupefying being that there’s literally a gigantic sign in our kitchen that proudly boasts our anniversary date.. And, honest to God, with the exception of the birth of my son, it genuinely was the happiest day of my life and I spent all my wedding day in fits of tears of joy.
“I’m not spending our anniversary going to a wrestling show.”
“You don’t have to. We can do shit Friday night. We can do shit Saturday morning to like, what, five or so. We can do shit all day Sunday too if you want,” I pleaded, again oblivious to my marrying of the word “shit” to what should be a sentimental day.
It’s not that I’m not sentimental. It’s just that I don’t care. I thought we were both afforded not to care. I assumed that we regarded our anniversary to be a slightly elevated Valentine’s Day. And plus, when our anniversary lands on a weekday, we postpone celebrating to Friday night, Saturday, or Sunday anyways. And let’s be honest with ourselves, how do the wedding anniversary festivities go? The husband without even a card; the wife falling asleep on the couch to reruns of Gilmore Girls. It’s not that we’re on the precipice of divorce, we just make special days when the time comes for a special day.
How was I going to work my way into going? The text thread went on about hotels being next to impossible to get as unfortunately for Detroit, Madonna is doing a show at Little Caesars Arena (wonder if she’ll conveniently re-appropriate a Michigan accent for that?). My only window of opportunity was sending my lovely wife off to a Tigers game at Comerica Park more or less at the same time as SummerSlam. But pushing this agenda during our lunch then would be ill-timed. Especially with the wound of my date-forgetting gaffe still fresh. I decided I’d wait until my birthday as my Hail Mary attempt for Ford Field.
But how bad do I want to go? It goes without saying it’s going to be an eventful show and the talk of the town. It’s Detroit’s first SummerSlam in 30 years (who can forget the Lex Express going to the now demolished Palace of Auburn Hills to forever cement Lex Luger as a loser). And it’s the second show at Ford Field since WrestleMania 23 (where President Donald Trump took the 2nd worst Stone Cold Stunner of all time—still unfathomable that that’s a sentence I have to write to this day). With WWE’s brand so hot right now, and there being a long gap between major shows here, I imagine it’ll sell out outright or at least easily clear 50,000+ when tickets get released. The tickets are going to be pricey as hell, especially if we can only come about nabbing them on the secondary market. Maybe based on the seating configuration it’ll beat the not-kayfabe attendance of Mania from ’07? Maybe they’ll wait to take the title of Roman until SummerSlam? Maybe it’ll be Cody challenging again and instead of driving the Lex Express to Detroit he’ll ride the Cody Caravan?
*****
On February 15th it was announced AEW is coming to Little Caesars Arena May 10 for Dynamite and Rampage. Well, that settles that, I’d rather pay more for what probably will amount to a better show and have a better view. Plus there’s no need to cause unneeded fissures in the ol’ marriage.
Maybe some of the Wrestling Elitists will be at Ford Field August 5th. If so, W.E. would love to meet with listeners of the show and readers of the site. I know I’ll dork-out creating week-long special content and have articles and a bonus podcast prepping the big show. Maybe only one of us will have the relationship goals of watching SummerSlam at 3 in the morning the next day when his wife wakes up from the couch and goes to bed…Then. Now. Forever. Together.
The Wrestling Elitists at Chris’s wedding……………………….not pictured, Mrs. Moore
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