Bittersweet Symphony
An overwrought overreaction to CM Punk vs. Wardlow?
CM Punk, Wardlow, and MJF (courtesy of allelitewrestling.com)
You know wrestling is fake. You know wrestling is predetermined. But how one is predetermined to lose fucking matters. As wrestling fans, we bite our goddamn nails about how protected a loss is. How strong one looks in defeat. I, as much as anyone, can get so preoccupied in a loss that that stands out more often than who wins.
The 1.12.22 edition of AEW Dynamite featured a highly anticipated match between CM Punk vs. Wardlow. We knew MJF would be involved. We knew MJF would try to screw Punk over in retaliation for his DQ loss to Shawn Dean. We knew this was a match on Tony Khan’s infamous, spoiler-filled scrap paper for Full Gear 2021—so something interesting had to have been talked about, or saved, or enhanced for this match, right?
Wardlow came into last Wednesday with momentum from a perfectly executed, slow-churning face turn. Wardlow has gotten over the powerbomb symphony finisher, as both MJF and Sean Spears (Wardlow’s Accountabilibuddy) do not want him to hit so many powerbombs as they are scared shitless of the move itself and seeing Wardlow actualize his own agency.
The pre-match promo was all about Wardlow’s finisher. Tellingly, Wardlow’s first featured squash matches followed Hangman and Danielson’s Broadway to capitalize on the extra eyeballs, leading the viewer to think he’s—no pun intended—the next big thing. And during the last few weeks when Wardlow and his finisher had gotten increasingly more TV time on Dynamite, you’ll notice there wasn’t a mention of Hook, the other unflappable monster the audience adores watching gobble up jobbers. My expectation was Wardlow getting the win over Punk. All this preamble to justify the undefeated Punk dropping one, or so I thought.
This was less of a match, more so an angle. The pacing was slow. Punk sold and sold, took powders, got distance, so deliberately to almost make the in-ring work intentionally unremarkable to make the 2nd half after the break the only part that mattered.
The first tell was once returning from the commercials, Punk ran into the rooms a la Bret Hart. JR even heralded it as such, “Bret Hart style. Sternum first.” (An aside about the Hitman: Shawn is the guy so many indie wrestlers patterned themselves off, but to make himself standout in this environment, Punk has been wise to borrow from Bret. Notice how Punk has so much credibility from making things feel like a real fight and avoiding video game super-finish/false-finish marathons that we can get too accustomed to with an indie-er style? You also think it’s a coincidence that Serena Deeb is having a career renaissance right now?)
Getting to the finish. The build grew with both men escaping each other’s finishers. Punk struggled to get Wardlow off his feet, getting him down with a top rope clothesline. Punk hit the running knee in the corner. He isn’t a dipshit, so having him get pissed and flick off MJF as a means to get into the powerbombs he’s previously avoided made sense. What didn’t make sense, was how many powerbombs he took.
Punk took five powerbombs. MJF got on the apron, and by Punk’s selling, that’s when I knew they would do the Bret/Diesel Survivor Series 1995 finish. I thought it would come after Wardlow got thrown by the direction to keep hitting them. So Warldow hit two more. Now at this point, couldn’t the ref had called the match? They did it later in the show with Deeb vs. Shida and it was just as earned as believable as it could have been here. Then, MJF directed Wardlow to the outside to hit the 8th powerbomb through the ringside table. The same inconsequential table that hadn’t been the finish or determining factor in a pinfall in months, another tell.
Couldn’t they have counted Punk out? It was a surprise/swerve/unexpected to have a DQ decide a match last week, a count-out could therefore be acceptable as an unexpected finish. It would have kept everyone credible. But no, Punk got in, MJF distracted Warldow in his directions to powerbomb Punk yet again, and Punk got the Bret Hart small package for the win.
Here’s the problem. It worked in 1995 because Diesel gave Bret an agonizingly long time to kick out. Bret had tried the small package out of nowhere to near falls in their previous matches, so it was a move in Bret’s repertoire that his character felt would work in the right circumstance. 27 years later, if Wardlow hit 8 of these fucking powerbombs, how believable is it that Punk would have the strength to even attempt a pin? Why doesn’t Wardlow have the strength to escape a small package?
Sure, Punk sold like hell after the match. And MJF and Wardlow came as close as they’ve ever gotten to the face turn. No, I don’t think it took the attention off of Punk vs. MJF. AEW has a good track record of having a primary feud with another on the burner. It’ll allow Punk to reference that towards Wardlow.
But what becomes of Wardlow’s finisher?
The powerbomb symphony was the most protected finish in wrestling for weeks. Punk took 8—8 of those motherfuckers!—now that has to be rebuilt all over again, as does Wardlow. The only out I see that makes sense is Wardlow admitting to Punk he allowed himself to get small packaged. We know Wardlow hates MJF from their backstage promos. If Wardlow gaining wins gives MJF the contractually-obligated forfeiture of Wardlow’s TNT title shot, the best way for Wardlow to fuck MJF over is to lose and get fired and out MJF’s contract.
But equally as plausible, maybe I’m really, really, really overanalyzing this. Which happens, when you love all the performers.
Wardlow and CM Punk (courtesy of allelitewrestling.com)
