AEW Rampage 1/13/2023 Match Ratings and Commentary
(Credit-AEW)
Here’s where we landed with this week’s Rampage taped from the Forum. Curious how we rank matches? We’ve got a rubric for that.
AEW Rampage - 1/13/2023
Darby Allin def. Juice Robinson to retain the AEW TNT Championship: ★★
House of Black def. Eddie Kingston and Ortiz: ★★
Ruby Soho and Willow Nightingale def. Tay Melo and Anna Jay: ★
Ruby bleeds buckets (Credit-AEW)
Show Highlight—
Jeff Jarrett, defined. “Looking like a woman who owns a Crunch Fitness.” What a great line by Whatshisfuck, now you’ve truly earned the laurels from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.
What Worked—
Darby grabs a hold. If you read these articles and listen to our podcast, we fret over the longterm probability of if Darby will be able to walk at 50 years old. A nice change of pace for him, proving that he can wrestle and wrestle well. Juice Robinson can still be an asset to AEW but he, like many free agent signings, will have to go in Calvin’s Transmogrifier for a new schtick that’s unique to AEW.
Willow Nightingale’s gear. The Dudley cosplay gimmicks fit perfectly. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to give Willow two separate outfits based on the intensity of a storyline. She can stay in the usual, happy go-lucky outfit and the Go! Team entrance music, but have her don the braids and pants for when shit gets real like this.
Kushida! Holy shit, that’s a crazy ass dream match. Funny how they’re seemingly doing quasi-symmetrical paths for Darby and Danielson with having dream matches one after another. Darby’s run with the TNT title is easy to pen; he’ll wrestle different styles and take on a new challenger every week, earning him credibility and adoration from fans as a fighting champion, but making the loss inevitable as he’ll logically only be able to run so hard for so long before getting got.
Anyways, Kushida. It’s funny how in wrestling today there’s so much great talent stocked on every company’s roster. If there’s a downside to the Khan’s buying WWE—a whole other article for another time—it's that there’s going to be too much talent that’s just sorta out there not really doing anything like Kushida when only so many guys and girls can get meaningfully spotlighted.
What Didn’t Work—
House of Black vs. Kingston and Ortiz. Eh, all four have accrued enough goodwill that they can have an off-night, I couldn’t help but expect that this would be a little better in terms of in-ring quality. Shit happens.
I was distracted by the idea of Eddie Kingston joining the House of Black and cutting promos in a discordant style to the rest of HOB. It’s a terrible idea, but doesn’t it make you wish that Mean Gene was still alive just for these guys to fuck around and cut promos with each other for shits and giggles in an outtake reel to be passed around for the boys?
Show Cringe—
Street Fight. I thought Anna Jay was totally fucked after that powerbomb. I dunno, as stated, I’m not a fan of hardcore wrestling, especially when it’s so clearly phony and seen-through as it was here. To their credit, it’s been damn near a year since there’s been such a violent women’s hardcore match (to the best of my memory) and there hasn’t been barbed wire and thumbtacks on the show with the regularity there was in parts of 2022.
It appeals to some, so great, this show had 32 flavors of all spectrums of wrestling and that's what matters the most.
The Forum (Credit-AEW)
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